Letters
by SpookyT
Summary: Set during and after Grace
1. A Letter To Jack

Letters Part 1  
  
A Letter to Jack  
  
Dear Jack,  
  
I don't know why I am writing this letter because as soon as I get back to Earth I am going to burn it. I guess it is in case I don't make it back, I don't want to die without telling you how I feel.  
  
I love you Jack. There I said it. I LOVE YOU! I have loved you from the moment we met. I love the way you care so deeply for your teammates. I love the way you are with children. I love how will always admit that you don't understand what I'm talking about. I love your laugh, your smile, your eyes. I love everything about you.  
  
I have seen you Jack, here on this ship with me. You said that you would never ask me to give up my career. You said I deserved more than I had. You told me that my father was right, he said that I am always alone and that I deserve to love someone and to have them love me in return. I want that Jack; I want that with you. I want to love you and have you love me in return. I want us to have children and grow old together. I want what I can't have unless I give up the military I know it will never happen. I know we can never be together.  
  
Finally you promised me that you would always be there for me. But you haven't Jack, you left me twice. When you were stranded with that Laira person, I worked day and night for three months trying to get you home and when I finally found a way, you acted as if you didn't even want to come! Then you disappeared with Maybourne. I nearly died Jack. The thought that I would never see you again was too much for me to bear. You weren't there for me Jack, I needed you and you weren't there.  
  
Well as you said I had better go save myself and in case I can't, know this. I love you Jack O' Neill now and forever.  
  
Forever Yours, Samantha.  
  
P.S. I should have kissed you 


	2. A letter to Sam

Letters Part 2  
  
A Letter to Sam  
  
Cheyenne Mountain, Colorado  
  
Four days, she was four days overdue for contact. That was so not Carter. Daniel said that they were going to search all the planets along the path they were traveling but Jack knew that it would all come to nothing. They tried the Tok'ra but they couldn't find anything, Jacob was unbelievably distraught. His little girl was out there somewhere and he couldn't find her. Teal'c had told Jack how Sam reacted when Jack disappeared with Maybourne, he was trying to get Jack to open up but only made him more upset and closed off. Everyone kept coming up to him and saying that they would find her, Janet mostly. Finally he couldn't take it anymore and he locked himself in Sam's office. No one would think of looking for him here.  
  
He looked around at all Sam's little doohicky's and wondered exactly how long it would take her to find a way home. She was smart she would find a way, if she was alive... He didn't want to think about that. She left her computer on, he vaguely remembered her saying something about running diagnostic programs on the gate. Curiosity got the best of him and he sat down at her desk and nosed around her computer. There was one folder that was password protected, this he had to see. He tried Sg1, SGC and everything else he could think of that related to work, he even remembered some technobable, but no luck. Finally he tried names Dad, Jacob, Cassie, Cassandra, Janet, Daniel, Teal'c, Jack nothing worked. He decided to leave it for a few minutes and went nosing around in her desk, it was there he found the password. On the back of one of her jotters in funky graffiti writing was written,  
  
"Samantha O' Neill!"  
  
Wow he was so not expecting that and felt kind of weird looking at it, he put it into her scanner and printed it off. Then he looked in the folder and nearly fell off the chair when he saw the contents.  
  
"Holy shit Carter, so this is what you do all day."  
  
Inside were journal entries one for P3X595, one for the Land of Light and so on. The background is what had actually caught his attention it was a drawing of him, with no top on and down in the corner was her signature. She drew semi-naked pictures of him. He read the journal for the Land of Light,  
  
"I can't believe I did that, I mauled the face off my CO. What is he going to think of me now? Why did he take me to the infirmary? Why didn't he want me as much as I want him? I mean wanted him. No I do want him."  
  
This was getting mondo, mondo, mondo weird. Jack saved the folder onto a disk and put it in his pocket then he shut down the computer. She had wanted him all this time, he was such an idiot. He took out her jotter and started writing:  
  
To my dearest Sam,  
You've been missing for four days.......  
  
TBC 


	3. Evidence of Love

Letters 3 Evidence of Love  
  
As Jack finished off his letter to Sam an announcement came over the intercom and the sirens started blaring.  
  
"Unscheduled off world activation, Col. O' Neill to the control room."  
  
Not thinking Jack dropped what he was doing and ran as fast as he could to the control room. When he got there he saw the iris code for the Prometheus. They were coming home, she was coming home. He knew she would find a way.  
  
"General may I?"  
  
Jack pointed towards the gate room, he wanted to be the one to welcome Sam home. General Hammond rolled his eyes, will that boy ever just tell her how he feels?  
  
"Go!"  
  
Jack didn't need to be told twice and was gone. He just entered the gate room as two men came through the gate holding Sam on a stretcher. No, no she couldn't be dead. This was not happening! Jack ran up the ramp and took his 2IC's hand.  
  
"Carter can you here me? Sam?"  
  
"She's been unconscious for the last twelve hours sir but she's stable," one of the men said.  
  
"Well don't just stand there," Jack barked. "Get her to the infirmary."  
  
^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^^**^*^*^*^^*^*^*^*^*^  
  
Janet watched in silence as Jack O' Neill, a Special Ops. trained Colonel in the US Air force sat beside his 2IC's bed. He'd been there all day. He wouldn't eat, he wouldn't leave her, not even to go to the toilet. That was nothing new, he always sat with his team mates all day without eating while they were unconscious in the infirmary. It was different with Sam though, for her he disobeyed a direct order.  
  
Two hours ago General Hammond came into the infirmary and told the Col. he wanted him at the Prometheus debrief.  
  
"No."  
  
"No? Colonel this is not a request." The General said nearly yelling. "It is an order, now I am ordering you to go to this briefing"  
  
Jack didn't respond instead he just sat back down and took Sam's hand. The General knew that nothing on earth would move Jack from that position, so he left him be. The General was right Jack didn't move from that spot in two hours, only letting go of her hand when Janet came to check her IV.  
  
Janet rubbed the back of her neck, she hated waiting for her friends to wake up. It made her feel so helpless. To keep herself busy she started folding Sam's clothes. Then she found it, sticking out of a pocket was a folded piece of paper. Curiosity got the best of her and Janet pulled up a chair and started reading what seemed to be a letter. She cried as she read, seeing her best friends emotions on paper Janet finally saw how alone Sam really felt and why. She had to do something.  
  
^*^*^*^*^*^^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^  
  
Daniel walked to the infirmary with a spring in his step. He couldn't wait to tell Janet what he found. As he entered her office he stopped, she was crying. He was immediately at her side.  
  
"Janet what's wrong?"  
  
Janet looked into Daniel's eyes and saw the concern in them.  
  
"I just found a letter that Sam wrote to Col. O' Neill while she was on the Prometheus. We have to do something Daniel."  
  
Daniel couldn't help but laugh, this was hilarious. Those two really were two of a kind.  
  
"Why are you laughing? This isn't funny Daniel!" Janet yelled.  
  
"Yes it is, let me show you something."  
  
Daniel pulled a piece of paper from his pocket and handed it to her.  
  
"Where did you get this?"  
  
"I was walking past Sam's lab on the way over here and I saw that the door was open. I went in to make sure that nothing was broken and I found this on her desk."  
  
Janet tears quickly stopped and a big smile spread across her face.  
  
"Daniel I have an idea."  
  
TBC 


	4. A Plan in Action

Letters 4 The Plan in Action  
  
(A/N) Sorry I couldn't come up with a better chapter title; if you think of one let me know. I am assuming that since you are reading this story that you have in fact seen Grace, so this takes place after Jack leaves Sam in the infirmary.  
  
^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*  
  
I called him Jack, how could I be so stupid? On the ship when I'm talking to him, well myself represented as him, or ... whatever, I call him sir. Here where he's my CO I call him Jack. And I'm supposed to be a genius.  
  
She had been repeating those thoughts to herself for the past hour. Col. O' Neill didn't seem to mind her calling him Jack but Sam was still mad at herself and would be for a long time to come, unless she does something else really embarrassing.  
  
"Yeah like giving him that letter." She said to herself with a laugh.  
  
In a second her mood changed. The letter, oh God she hadn't destroyed it before coming back to earth. What if he found it? She would be court marshaled, removed from SG1, and maybe even removed from the SGC. This was just typical.  
  
"Where did I put it?"  
  
She could see her heart beat quicken on the machines.  
  
"OK I wrote the letter in the mess, then I got up and went to the engine room and put the letter... in my pocket!"  
  
She looked around to see if she could find her clothes but they were no where to be seen.  
  
"Janet!"  
  
^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*  
  
Jack walked down the corridor with a spring in his step. Carter was awake and on top of that she called him Jack. It wasn't like it was the first time she had called him by his first name; it was in fact the third or fourth time. He imagined the two of them walking along a sandy beach, two or three kids running around them, she would call him Jack, no Jonathan, she would call him Jonathan and he would call her Samantha. There'd be no Gua'uld, no NID, just the two of them and their family. Jack was so lost in thought that he didn't hear Daniel calling him.  
  
"Jack!" Daniel grabbed his arm stopping him dead in his tracks.  
  
"Oh hey Danny, sorry I was off in my own little world."  
  
"I heard Sam was awake, how's she doing?"  
  
They started walking towards the canteen.  
  
"She's grand, a little out of it though, but hey she does have a concussion."  
  
"Yeah. I think I'll go see her. Talk to you later."  
  
Daniel walked away but stopped and yelled back, "Do you think I should tell her someone was in her lab and left the door open?"  
  
When he turned around Jack was gone and all he could hear was;  
  
"FUCK, SHIT, BOLLOCKS, GET OUT OF MY WAY!"  
  
When Jack reached Sam's lab he found that the door was in fact open and there on her desk right where he left it was the letter. He ran over, grabbed the letter and was gone before anyone noticed. He only stopped running when he got to his quarters.  
  
"Smart move Jack. She'd have you court marshaled if she found this."  
  
He looked down and stopped breathing; this was not his letter. At least not the one he wrote to Sam.  
  
"Dear Jack...  
  
^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^  
  
"Janet," Sam yelled.  
  
"JANET FRASIER GET YOUR ASS IN HERE NOW!!!!!"  
  
Janet came running in as fast as her little legs could carry her. Sam was pissed, very pissed.  
  
"Janet get me my uniform!"  
  
Janet smiled to herself and went to get her friend's uniform. When she returned she didn't even get a thank you.  
  
'You're welcome," she huffed and walked away.  
  
Sam searched all her pockets and let out a sigh of relief when she found what she was looking for. She unfolded the paper just to make sure it was the letter. Her face paled. She just stared at the letter. When she finally realized that if she had a heart attack Janet would come in, Sam started reading the letter quietly to herself.  
  
"To my dearest Sam,  
  
You've been missing for four days. We don't yet know what happened to you, Danny said it's funny the only one who would be smart enough to think of a way to find you, is you. Everyone keeps telling me you're going to be ok, you will be ok Sam. You have to be. I don't think I'd be able to go on if anything happened to you.  
  
Why didn't you tell me what happened to you when I disappeared with Maybourne? Teal'c told me how hard it was on you. Then Janet told me that you were the same when I was stranded on Edora. Why did you never tell me? You don't need to answer that, I know it's because I'm your CO. Still I thought you would still be able to talk to me. Although when I think about it, given what we agreed to after the Zat'arc testing I can see why you would hesitate.  
  
Do you know that I kick myself every night for agreeing to keep what was said in that room, in that room? How could I be so stupid? Well I'm not gong to waste my chance this time. I love you Samantha, more than I have ever loved or will love anyone in my entire life. I've loved you since the first day we met, if I had to pin point the exact moment I would say it was when you said, 'Just because my reproductive organs are on the inside instead of the outside doesn't mean I can't handle anything you can handle.' I can't say exactly what I love about you because it would take me forever but I will tell you what I love the most, your eyes. Your eyes tell me so much, when your sad I can see how they go a deep blue, like when you couldn't go see your Dad because the Tok'ra wouldn't let us leave; and when your happy they sparkle like the stars in the sky. The first time I remember your eyes sparkling was when we met the young Nox, I bet you just wanted to take him home with you.  
  
Unfortunately life isn't as simple as we sometimes want it to be. I know that we can't be together while we are both in the air force, which is why when you get back I'm going to retire. You mean more to me than anything Samantha I don't want to lose you again.  
  
Love,  
Jack." 


	5. Consequences

Letters 5 Consequences  
  
A/N Sorry it took me so long to update. Enjoy  
  
'He loves me, he actually loves me.'  
  
Sam sat up in bed staring at the letter in her hands, it hadn't slipped her mind how weird it is that they both wrote letters to each other. A thought was slowly surfacing in the back of her mind, if this was his letter where was hers?  
  
"Oh no, no, no, no, no, this can't be happening."  
  
Quickly checking to make sure that Janet and her nurses from hell were no where in sight, Sam got out of bed threw on her clothes and headed out the door.  
  
"Ok give him some asprin and I'll be with you in a minute,"  
  
Janet walked over to the curtain, she had to take Sam's blood pressure and she wanted to see Sam's reaction to the Colonel's letter. When she pulled back the curtain and saw that Sam was gone a small smile appeared on her lips.  
  
"Daniel take your asprin and get in here!"  
  
Jack was speechless, how could he have been so stupid? She loved him all this time. He had to talk to her, tell her how he felt. He ran to his office and took an A4 sized brown envelope out of his desk, he knew what he had to do. Just as Jack was leaving his office, to go see General Hammond, he bumped right into Sam.  
  
"Carter...uh...hi."  
  
'Yeah real smooth Jack.'  
  
"Sir. I was...uh...just coming to see you."  
  
'Yeah real smooth Sam.'  
  
Jack looked down and saw his letter in her hand, 'Oh crap.'  
  
"Carter, about that letter, I can explain..."  
  
Before he was even able to think of an explanation Sam cut him off.  
  
"Did you mean it? Do you...do you...uh, love me?"  
  
'Ok Jack moment of truth, you've practised this a million times.'  
  
"Uh...yeah, yeah I do."  
  
'Round of applause everyone for Jack O' Neill, he's only been practising for seven years.'  
  
"I meant every word of it Sam. I love you, I am in love with you and have been for years."  
  
'Better, come on Jack you're on a roll.'  
  
"When you didn't report in I was so scared. I couldn't imagine my life without you, which is why I am going to General Hammond's office to hand in my resignation."  
  
"You're going to resign for me? Jack you can't, you're needed here."  
  
"Sam, you know we can't be together as long as we're both in the air force, please let me do this."  
  
He was going to resign for her, that was so romantic. Sam reached up and pulled him down to kiss him. It wasn't a long passionate movie kiss, it was a soft simple kiss but it was filled with love.  
  
"Let's go see General Hammond."  
  
"It's your what?"  
  
General Hammond couldn't believe it, Colonel Jack O' Neill wanted to resign. He knew that there was something between his two top officers, but he never thought either of them would leave the air force.  
  
"Sir, I've made up my mind. We both know the air force will never let us be together and Sam is way too important to this program."  
  
"What else can I do? You know there is no going back, if the two of you break up..."  
  
"Sir I am ready to live with the consequences of my decision, personally I think the good out weigh the bad a million to one."  
  
Jack turned his head and looked into Sam's eyes, he was so ready.  
  
"Ok then, Jack it's a shame to lose you. I have to ask however if you would be willing to help if we needed you, say training new recruits or dealing with the Asghard."  
  
Jack just smiled as he and Sam turned to leave.  
  
"By the way Jack, if you hurt her there will be no where to hide."  
  
Later that night Sam and Jack sat on his back porch looking out at the stars. They had been sitting there for about ten minutes and neither of them had said anything yet.  
  
"Sam can I ask you something?" Jack asked turning Sam around so that they were now looking at each other.  
  
Sam nodded slowly wondering what was going to come next.  
  
"Can I get this framed?" As he said this he pulled out a sheet of paper with the picture of him that Sam had drawn on it.  
  
To say that Sam was mortified was an understatement.  
  
"Uh...sure I guess, if you want."  
  
She seemed so uncomfortable all Jack could do was laugh and pull her into a hug.  
  
TBC 


	6. Epilogue

Letters 6 Epilogue  
  
Samantha and Jonathan O' Neill walked hand in hand down the beach. It was a beautiful day, the sun was shining, the birds were singing and all was right with the world. As they walked a young boy about five approached them, he had brown hair and blue eyes. The couple stopped and looked down.  
  
"Daddy, you promised you'd teach me how to swim!"  
  
Samantha and Jonathan laughed at their son who was looking up at them, using his puppy dog eyes that always got him what he wanted. Then Jonathan picked him up and carried him, like he was a plane, down towards the water. Samantha just stood and watched, sometimes it was hard to tell who was the father and who was the child. She placed her hand on her stomach and smiled as she felt a kick. Her attention was drawn back to the water when she heard Daniel yell.  
  
"Look Mommy I'm swimming."  
  
The End 


End file.
